This morning I had one of those moments every parent dreads. I was checking our home network - something I do regularly because, well, it's what I do for a living - and I saw something that made my stomach drop.
My son's iPad. 30 minutes of video traffic. Classified as "XVideos.com" - one of the biggest adult websites on the internet.
He's 7 years old.
The Dashboard Doesn't Lie. Except When It Does.
I run a fairly serious home network with monitoring and filtering set up. When the dashboard tells me a device has been streaming video from an adult site, that's not a vague suggestion. That's hard data.
Or so I thought.
My first instinct was to check when it happened. The traffic spike was between 7 and 8 this morning - Saturday morning. I knew he'd been watching cartoons on our streaming service, which we've set up so the kids only have access to content we've approved. Nothing he could watch on there would raise an eyebrow.
But 30 minutes is a lot of video. And the dashboard was absolutely certain about what it thought that content was.
I'm not going to lie. I had about twenty minutes of genuine panic.
So I Investigated
Here's the thing: I do this for a living. I help people fix their home WiFi and understand their networks. I've got tools and logs that most households don't have. So I started digging.
I was able to check the actual web addresses his iPad contacted that morning. Every single one. If he'd actually visited an adult site, I'd see it.
It wasn't there. Not even close.
What I found instead was traffic to our streaming service's video servers - a domain called plexvideos.com.
See the problem?
Our router saw high-bandwidth video streaming from a domain with "xvideo" in the name, and jumped to conclusions. It saw "plexvideos" and flagged it as "XVideos."
My son was watching a cartoon. The router got confused.
Why This Matters Right Now
With Australia's social media ban now in effect, there's a lot of conversation about keeping kids safe online. And that's a good thing - it's a conversation we needed to have.
But here's what I've noticed: a lot of parents think the ban means the problem is solved. Or they're being told that parental controls on their router will handle the rest. Or they've installed some app that promises to keep their kids safe.
The reality is messier.
The social media ban only covers certain platforms. It doesn't do anything about what's happening on your home network - the streaming services, the games, the apps, the browsers. And as I learned this morning, even the tools that are supposed to give you visibility can get it wrong.
I have the technical background to figure this out. Most parents don't - and honestly, you shouldn't have to.
But here's what happens when you see something alarming and can't verify it: you either confront your kid about something that never happened, assume the technology is wrong and start ignoring warnings, or just live with a knot in your stomach because you don't know what to trust.
None of those are good outcomes.
The Jargon Problem
If you've tried to research any of this, you've probably encountered a wall of terms that feel like they require a computer science degree to understand.
DNS filtering. VPNs. Age verification. Content blocking. Screen time controls. AI-powered monitoring. Network-level protection.
What does any of it actually mean? And which ones do you need?
I get it. The landscape is changing fast, the technology keeps evolving, and every product promises to be the solution. It's overwhelming. Most parents I talk to have either given up trying to understand it, or they've ticked a few boxes in their router settings and hoped for the best.
Neither approach is great - but I don't blame anyone for landing there. The industry has done a pretty poor job of explaining this stuff in plain English.
The Real Lesson
Parental controls and network monitoring tools are genuinely useful. I'm not saying don't use them. But they're not perfect. They make educated guesses based on patterns, and sometimes they get it wrong.
The technology is supposed to give you peace of mind. Instead, it can create anxiety - because when something flags, you've got no way to know if it's real or just noise.
That's not a criticism of any particular product. It's just a reality that nobody mentions when they're selling you a router with "built-in parental controls."
What You Can Actually Do (Some of It Free)
Here's the thing - you don't need to spend a fortune or become a networking expert to make meaningful improvements. A few things that actually help:
Change your DNS to a family-friendly provider. DNS is basically the phone book of the internet - when you type a website address, DNS is what looks up where to actually send you. By default, your home uses whatever your internet provider gives you, which doesn't filter anything. But you can change it (for free) to a family-friendly service like CleanBrowsing or OpenDNS Family Shield, which refuses to look up adult sites at all. It takes about five minutes to set up on your router, and once it's done, it covers every device in the house.
Check if your router's parental controls are actually doing anything. A lot of routers ship with these features turned off by default, or they're so buried in menus that nobody finds them. Some are genuinely useful. Others are basically theatre. It's worth knowing which you've got.
Understand that devices can bypass your home network. Mobile data, VPNs, and privacy features like Apple's iCloud Private Relay can all route traffic around whatever filtering you've set up at home. That's not necessarily your kid being sneaky - a lot of this stuff is on by default. But it means your home network controls might not be doing what you think.
Know that "safe search" settings exist on most platforms. YouTube, Google, and other services have restricted modes you can enable. They're not bulletproof, but they reduce the chances of your kid stumbling onto something they shouldn't.
Accept that no single tool does everything. The best approach is usually layers - a bit of DNS filtering, some device-level controls, and occasional conversations about what's appropriate. No app or router is going to parent for you, but the right setup can make your job easier.
What I'd Tell Other Parents
You don't need to become a tech expert to keep your kids safe online. But it helps to know that the tools you're relying on aren't foolproof.
"Parental controls" can mean almost anything. Some routers just let you set time limits. Others try to filter content. Very few actually show you what's happening in a way you can trust. The label on the box doesn't tell you how well it works - or whether you'll be able to make sense of what it's telling you.
False positives happen. As I learned this morning. If you see something concerning, take a breath before you react. There might be a completely boring explanation.
The eSafety Commissioner has good resources - if you haven't looked at esafety.gov.au, it's worth a visit. They've got guides for parents, information about the social media restrictions, and advice on having conversations with your kids about online safety. It's one of the better government resources I've seen.
What I'm Doing About It
I help families in Geelong sort out their home WiFi. Usually that's about coverage and speed - dead zones, dropouts, that kind of thing.
But more and more, I'm realising there's another conversation families need help with: setting up their home network so they can actually trust what it's telling them. Filtering that works. Monitoring that makes sense. And someone to call when something flags and you're not sure if it's real.
Family Network Health Check
A 60-minute home visit where I review your network's parental controls and online safety setup. I'll check if your DNS filtering is actually working, identify devices that might be bypassing protection, and give you a simple report in plain English.
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Book Your Health CheckI'm not here to tell anyone how to parent. But I can help you understand what's actually happening on your home network - so you can make informed decisions instead of staring at a dashboard at 7am on a Saturday, heart racing, wondering if you really know your kid at all.
Turns out, I do. He just wanted to watch cartoons.